I have everything mapped out in my mind. Wake up at five in the morning everyday, cook breakfast and take a bath. At six, I’d wake my husband and third-grader up. They’d take a bath first before having breakfast. Before 7:30, we’d all be out and ready to say goodbye to our toddler who has to stay home with my cousin.
But life has its own pace and some things just don’t happen exactly the way we’d want to. Just like the family schedule above.
I don’t get to wake up at 5 in the morning everyday. I try, but I guess my effort isn’t just enough. Cooking usually involves juggling between the toddler and the stove. And Tantan, my third-grader does not always respond immediately when I shake him up at six.
As a result, he and my husband are usually late for school and work, respectively. As for me, I’m on a flexible work schedule so I don’t need to worry about being late.
Just the same, I’d get frustrated and angry everytime I look at the clock and it’s 7:30 and Tantan is still having breakfast. He is a slow eater and he has a flag ceremony to attend at school at 7:30 in the morning, everyday.
Our mornings are always Chaotic.
But I wonder if this chaos is just in my mind, a result of the mapped out schedule that doesn’t get followed all the time. Maybe if I focus less on my feelings, my mind won’t get so chaotic.
The house will still be in chaos – Matt would still be crying for me while I’m cooking breakfast; Tantan still needs to be told again and again to hurry up and finish his food; my husband would still be asking me where his socks are.
But what if I don’t focus on the feelings of frustration and anger that these inevitable norms generate? What if I will be at peace with everything that’s happening all at once? What if I take a deep breathe before responding to my family members?
I bet everyday will start with an organized chaos.